This is a problem that I have struggled with my entire life. I’m the guy that always has to top the other person’s story. I can’t help myself, while the other person is talking all I’m think about is which cool story can I pull out that will impress them.
Or, I cut them off and tell them what to do to solve the problem they are talking about. I have gotten much better at controlling this urge over the past few years, but recently I have made major improvements.
After about a 10 year hiatus, I have started doing executive coaching again and have really worked on sharpening my questioning and listening skills. I understand clearly that my role as a coach is not to be a “sage on the stage,” but to be a “guide on the side.
” It is challenging to change the habit of telling to asking. It can be frustrating not to interrupt when you feel like you know exactly how to fix the problem. With so many distractions it is difficult to stay focused on the other person. Being quiet when you’re used to talking is really hard. So how did I turn things around? Here are a few of the tools I have been using.
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