People See Your Flaws, so Embrace and Heal Them

Brief

People around you know your flaws, and admitting to them shows welcoming vulnerability and is the first step toward reducing their negative impact on your life, writes Bob Vanourek. “Revealing our weaknesses allows true friends and colleagues to share the lessons they’ve learned, helping us improving those weaknesses,” Vanourek writes.

Insight

I’m getting better though. I’ve learned that being vulnerable by admitting my weaknesses often turns the situation around to something good.

People Already Know

I discovered that many people already knew my weaknesses. It was obvious to them, even while I was working feverishly at hiding and self-deception.

I was often the leader of many of these people, but they weren’t really sure if they could talk about my weaknesses to me directly. So, like me, they pretended to me that my flaws weren’t there. We played a little Kabuki theater, pretending everything’s just fine with our masks on.

When I publicly admitted a flaw, though, I became more credible, more authentic. When I went further and said I was working on my weakness and would appreciate any help, I developed deeper connections with people.

I discovered they could and would help me. I also discovered we could stop pretending and be real with each other about our mutual flaws. We deepened our fellowship. I had unleashed more of the leadership latent within them that enhanced the capabilities of our organization.

Of course, some people may take advantage of your vulnerability and use it against you. Often, that approach backfires on them when others see that someone has opened up, become vulnerable, and then been taken advantage of. My experience is that those false friends aren’t worth your time, so move on to faithful friends and colleagues. Your life will be much better.

Leadership Derailers

I’ve worked closely with my son, Gregg, for over a decade as peers, writing our book, Triple Crown Leadership, and many articles and blogs together. We’ve done leadership workshops together and compared notes on leadership traps.