Create connection with your team by being curious, consistent and respectful while spelling out your expectations and vision, writes John R. Stoker. “Taking a moment to consider your behavior will help improve your relationships, grow respect and increase your awareness so you can make any needed changes and improve the quality of your results,” he writes.



Not long ago, I was watching the movie “Hunter Killer,” starring Gerard Butler. It is the story of a submarine commander who is tasked with rescuing the Russian president who has been taken captive by a rogue minister of defense.

At a point in the movie, it is obvious that the Russians had discovered the US sub, and Butler must decide if he will fire his nuclear missiles on the Russians before they fire on him. In a tense moment, he states that the rules of engagement demand that he allow the enemy to fire first before he returns fire to defend himself.

Although our conversations are not nearly as intense as a nuclear encounter, there are some rules that if practiced, will greatly improve the effectiveness of your conversational engagement.There are obviously more rules than those listed below, but here are 10 rules of engagement that will help improve the quality of your interactions and conversations with others.

1. The rule of vision

If you don’t have a vision that guides what you or your team is trying to create, then you could expect that there will be as many different visions as there are people. You need to create a vision that resonates with people and helps them understand how what they do contributes to the accomplishment of that vision.